Five Minute Friday {Brave}

Lisa-Jo Baker. Five Minute Friday. Join me…

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...

Ready, set, go…

Lately, I have been in such a weird place. April was a blur, but also the longest month. Ever. We had 20 doctor appointments and medical procedures in 30 days. I used to plan out entire years. I am that person who started buying birthday decorations a year out. I had goals that would last a year. Broken down into quarters and months and weeks and days. Days. That is where I am now. I am literally waking up each morning and thinking, “What is most important today?” I am not even planning ahead the night before. When do we moms of babies with special needs cross over from planners to survivors? From marathon runners to sprinters? I am just trying to make it to the next street sign. I look at my calendar and the days are filled with reminders that my new normal is tough. And unpredictable even where the same appointments repeat week after week. But not as tough as other people have it. And way more predictable than some. I have been called ‘brave’ for the past several months, but I think people are seeing something else as bravery. Because some days I am so scared I am not sure if I can function as caregiver until Dave gets home from work. And others view my weariness as calm. I used to be busy. Getting things done. Now, I am happy to just make it. I can see that street sign ahead.

Time’s up!

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14 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday {Brave}

  1. Claire says:

    What a beautiful, thoughtful post. I’ll be praying for you, if I may?

    Like

  2. I think I feel the same way – people think I’m brave but really I’m not. It’s just loads of grace. :)

    Like

  3. amypboyd says:

    You are such a brave and mighty warrior fighting for your family. You are the type of strong that only love can bring. I stand in awe of mothers that have extra challenges to learn to live with.

    Like

  4. “When do we moms of of babies with special needs cross over from being planners to survivors?”

    this is an amazing post… powerful question. you’ve grippingly portrayed your struggle. prayers for you and your sweet little one.

    Like

  5. shortybear says:

    Saying prayers for you brave warrior.

    Like

  6. You got my heart girl! These words “When do we moms of babies with special needs cross over from planners to survivors?” stopped it still. Thankful for your sweet heart. Saying a prayer.

    Like

  7. sarahlangdon says:

    There are many of us who were once planners and are now survivors for a variety of reasons. Beautiful post.

    Like

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