Teachers Will Hate Your Child

Graham loves to talk. {He inherited the love of hearing his own voice from his Mama.} He is a 3-year-old learning the rules of conversation. And I love it. Since we spend most days at home, he is excited to try out his growing vocabulary on just about anyone who crosses our path. And if we don’t intercept, he will make a beeline right to you.

In hospital waiting rooms full of complete strangers, Graham brought many smiles through his inquisitiveness. Volunteers, employees, and patients were in awe of Graham’s ability to thumb through a magazine and tell them everything he was thinking. And his questions and responses can only be outdone by his facial expressions and his inflection. It is comical to watch. It makes me a proud nervous wreck.

“You haves large ‘breastes’ and how many babies do you breastfeed?”

“You look like Mr. Nezzer {from VeggieTales} and you gonna yell at Bob and Larry and point yours finger at dem!”

“Do birds haves penises?”

“When do you eat this turkey? It look old.”


“I like yours face and I fink I love you to give me some gum today.”

And on and on and on…

I am no longer phased by the talking and have grown to expect my day will be filled with hundreds of questions and stories. If Graham isn’t talking, it means he is about to poop in his pants. So, bring on the words! Even though it can be exhausting, I am grateful he can communicate. We don’t yet know what Adelaide’s speech journey holds. I am comforted by the ease with which he expresses himself. But, I am quickly learning that some people do not appreciate this gift of language…

“Does he always talk this much? Teachers will hate your child.”

Normally, I am too flabbergasted to respond to these outbursts of insanity. Did she just say the words hate and my child in the same breath? I was a teacher for several years and never once hated a child. That is a strong word. And one that Graham doesn’t often hear. And he is just talking. He isn’t bullying other kids. Or stealing. Or distributing meth.

“I will be homeschooling. And I am pretty sure I won’t ever hate my own child.”

It wasn’t even a good response. I could’ve said so many other things, but I never think of them until I am folding some laundry or clipping coupons. It didn’t matter what I said. Graham had already heard someone talk about him and hate in the same sentence.

Later that afternoon, Graham told me he hated me. For the first time. It was flippant and followed with a quick “I sorry! Do yous forgive me?” I gave no reaction at all, except a hug, because I knew Graham was just trying a new word. He loves to talk.


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One thought on “Teachers Will Hate Your Child

  1. […] he was ‘typing’ right along with me. {Ironically, she bought it before reading my post: Teachers Will Hate Your Child.} It kept his attention long enough for me to crank out this […]


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