Graham Plus Registry Gun Equals Adorable

Today, we registered for Baby Ballew #3. Why? Because I love coupons. And because I knew Graham would have a great time scanning things. And I needed to put on a pretty maternity top {thanks, Heather} and get out of the house for a bit.

We had some difficulties getting started, because the kiosk froze up twice. And then it wouldn’t accept my email. Or my password. Or our state. Sorry, Missouri, you are no longer in the Union. And then the printer stopped working. And the girl at customer service was just staring at us like she was trying to do long division in her head. Or really any math at all. Graham was turning heads as he shouted, “Mom, just get a gun! I want a gun now! Get your big gun NOW! And get me a cookie! PWEASE?” Yes, I had lured him into Target with promises of using a registry gun and buying a cookie.

One customer said, “Wow. That is a loud child. Do you realize he is so loud?”

I normally keep my responses to myself. Nope. Not today. “Well, if Target’s equipment worked and more than one person was working customer service, he would already have a registry gun by now. He is three years old and we have been here a long time with zero help.”

So, I was that mom. Oh well. I never get to be that mom. I am usually the mom who stays silent and walks away.

We *finally* got our gun {after a few people cut in front of us in line…still not sure how that was allowed}, and we headed toward the baby section. By this time, I was ready to just take the gun back, buy a cookie, and head home in tears. It’s not like we even expect people to shop from the registry. We aren’t having a shower or anything. I just wanted something fun to do with the kids. And I wanted to be reminded that being pregnant is fun. Not always vomiting and feeling fat and looking like I crawled out of a dumpster and feeling like I am never going to be able to care for 3 kids when one of them can’t even really sit up in the cart.

But, Graham was ready to scan. So, I put on a smile and we got to work! I allowed him complete freedom. He was hilarious. He commented on everything we saw and gave me a reason why baby did or didn’t need it.

“Baby-in-your-belly do not need a carseat. We gots Adelaide’s old carseat.”

“Baby-in-your-belly do not need bottles. We gots lots of bottles and babies eat from breastes.”

“Baby-in-your-belly need baff stuff. Because baffs are awesome.”

Graham registered for white onesies in every size. In long and short sleeve. “Baby-in-your-belly needs vese onesies. Because they are cool.So, we registered for 12 packs of onesies.

Graham also wanted baby oil and baby wash, because “it is for our cloff wipes. For poop. And she will poop a lot.”

My favorite moment of the day: Graham saw a hooded Shark Towel and yelled,

“She needs DAT! A shark towel! Cuz she a shark! Well, she just a baby girl, but she likes sharks and I need to shoot it wif da trigger! NOW! She da coolest baby and she need it!”

Graham registered for a shark towel. With all the accessories.

He told everyone we saw that his baby sister was getting a shark towel. He told a woman in the parking lot that his baby sister was a shark. “Her names is Shark Sister. She a cool baby.”

We still don’t know if Baby-in-my-belly is a boy or a girl. But we do know Baby will have a shark towel. With all the accessories. shark towels

And, yes, Graham earned his cookie…

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