Five Minute Friday {together}

Thursday, I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to hold it together. I am on three hours of sleep since Tuesday morning. Bess is sick and having a tough time with the drainage and discomfort. She is also still just adjusting to life outside the womb. So many sounds and lights and crazy faces from Graham…who vacillates between trying to injure her and love her to death. Both are dangerous and are making me a nervous wreck. Adelaide is teething nine teeth. And she is trying to army crawl. That is a blessing. It is just hard watching her try over and over again. She is determined to crawl and I am so proud of her. I still have that pain from knowing in my mama heart that it will take a long time. Keep going, baby. You can do it. Don’t give up. Don’t go back to rolling everywhere.

I got in the shower while Bess slept for 12 minutes. And I cried. The tears of a tired mom who just isn’t sure how she is going to keep going without either 12 straight hours of beauty sleep or the world’s largest Coke Zero. Since I don’t do caffeine until they wean, sleep is my only option. Bess is still nursing every two hours. And she has needed to be held for two nights in a row. All night.

This Mutemath song. This right here.

“I just can’t hold it together.”

I am off to get in a few minutes before Bess wakes to nurse. Or Graham wakes and asks to sleep in our bed. Or Adelaide cries out with teething pain.

I hate Halloween, but I am glad I will be able to get some clearance candy soon. I consumed the last of the freezer chocolate today…

Time’s Up…

Five Minute Friday

Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Be generous and leave an encouraging comment for the person who linked up before you. That’s the best part about this community.

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11 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday {together}

  1. jenpcv says:

    I enjoy your honesty! I also ate the last of my freezer chocolate last night….I wish halloween was celebrated around here so I could get clearance chocolate too! ;) Good luck getting some sleep tonight!!

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  2. Jessica says:

    I hope that you get to SLEEP this weekend, sounds like you need it girl and you deserve it too!

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  3. Meta says:

    This too shall pass. . This too shall pass .. this too shall pass… you’re in that crazy newborn period but remember that this too shall pass! U will have 12 hours and that giant coke zero soon enough. U r doing extraordinary mama…. !!!!!

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    • Lyndse says:

      Thanks, Meta! You know how much I LOVE breastfeeding…just wished my kiddos didn’t hate caffeine. ; ) Have a super weekend and keep loading those videos of your gorgeous baby! Hugs!

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  4. Thanks for sharing from the bottom of your stressed out mama heart! The transparency was beautiful (esp. since I sort had a similar here’s where it’s at moment). And Meta is right, it will pass and it will get better, but until then, keep crying in the shower. God collects all those tears in a bottle – not a one is missed by him. He’s with you, even in this.

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  5. I’m so impressed that you took time for FMF, given your current situation. Goodness, I don’t even know what to say. I’m praying for you Right Now.

    It does pass. Just take it one minute at a time. Just like you’re doing.

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  6. […] experiment {even though you are down 5.5 pounds in 10 days…}. When you think you just can’t hold it together. When you want to give up on all your plans for the day and cry. Starting off with an ugly cry. […]

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