Five Minute Friday {small part two}

I know it’s Monday…please bear with me.

In my years of teaching, I taught several children, preteens, and teens with autism. So, a typical beginning-of-the-year conversation would go like this:

“Hi {Student} ! How are you today?”

“Hi, Mrs. Ballew. How are you?”

“Well, I am having an okay day. I woke up feeling yucky, but I think lunch gave me a good break. I am looking forward to walking after school. The weather is so beautiful today. But you didn’t actually answer me. Do you want to give me an answer?”

“Mrs. Ballew, is it okay to say that I am having a rough day? Am I allowed to say that? Everyone else just says ‘fine’ and keeps walking.”

“Yes, some people just want to get to class. But you can always tell me how you are really feeling.”

“Okay, Mrs. Ballew, maybe I will tell you next time.”

“Sounds great! Have an awesome day!”

As the year progressed, our conversations would look like this:

“Hi {Student}! How has your day been so far?”

“Mrs. Ballew, my day started off good, but then I missed the bus. I had a fun 2nd hour, and I get to see my cousin after school! How has your day been?”

“I am tired, but my day has been great. We had Taco Salad for lunch, which you know is my favorite hot lunch, and Mr. Ballew and I are renting a movie when he gets off work tonight. Tell your cousin I said ‘hi’ and be safe!”

“Bye, Mrs. Ballew!”

It’s a small thing to be able to share your *real* day with someone. Often times, I want to answer ‘fine’ and keep walking. Online it looks like, “We are great. Thanks for asking.” Or “We are good. Thanks for your prayers.” But I am not great right now. We are not good at this very moment. What I am living right now is hard. I vacillate between complete transparency and silently retreating into a bag of Oreos.

A friend posted this today, and it sums up how I feel today.

ugh

This isn’t a complaint. I am not in sin. This is how I feel today. And I want to thank everyone who has been praying for us and trying to get past the “We are good.” to get the real answers.

Time’s Up…

This is my second FMF about the word ‘small’…last year’s is still one of my most-read and most-shared posts of all time. It was about Adelaide playing with a doll house. You can read it here.

Five Minute Friday

Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Be generous and leave an encouraging comment for the person who linked up before you. That’s the best part about this community.

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2 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday {small part two}

  1. Amanda Allen says:

    You have no idea how much your post resonated with my heart today. I just completed my “small” prompt (hey now your monday doesn’t look so bad when you have a tuesday poster behind ya haha)

    I know that lately it seems that everyone is expecting me to say “we are fine” or “things are okay” and if I do they keep on buzzing, but we are not okay either. And I am working on finding my words in the midst of not being okay.

    I am thankful for the few people who DO actually see me in the midst of this.

    Thank you for sharing your words here and reminding me that it’s completely okay that I am NOT okay.

    Like

    • Lyndse says:

      Amanda,
      Thanks for visiting! It really means a lot to me that you stopped by and shared a piece of your heart. By the way, mine was also a Tuesday post! I noticed afterwards, but I didn’t go back and edit… ; )

      Praying for you this week!

      Like

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