First, Second, Third.

First kid: You read every single BabyCenter post, email, or Facebook status. You have a mental double line graph. Blue for your son. Red for the norm. You have every milestone for the first forty-eight months memorized.

Second kid: You consult the BabyCenter site when you think she may be ahead or behind. You open the occasional email to be reminded that other moms don’t sleep and are still trying to bounce back in the skinny jeans department.

Third kid: You consult the BabyCenter site before doctor’s appointments, so you can appear to know what she should be doing. You delete those emails without even opening them and wonder if you should relegate them to spam.


First kid: You know his age down to days, not months. You know how many weeks until his next milestone “month” birthday. You celebrate that magical mid-year milestone with half a birthday cake he can’t even eat.

Second kid: You know how many months she is, but weeks are a tough one. You forget her half birthday until a few days later, but still probably eat half a cake. No wonder you can’t fit into those skinny jeans.

Third kid: You have no idea how old she is, and people continually put you on the spot. Maybe 6 months? Oh, older than that. Forget about that cake…


First kid: Nursery is done before third trimester. Perfect closet with more shoes than Imelda Marcos. A place for everything and everything in its place could be embroidered on a pillow. Speaking of bedding, the crib is perfection. And the baby monitor is ready to go seven weeks before you give birth.

Second kid: She doesn’t have a crib until after she is born, because you know she will be in the bassinet for the first six months anyway. Right after you forget about that cake, you move her to her own room. You have the baby monitor on, but forget to plug in your side of it.

Third kid: She is six months old when you realize her crib doesn’t even have the mattress in it yet. And you can’t find the baby monitor.


First kid: He is not allowed to watch tv. You always face him away from the screen. He won’t be allowed to watch until he is two. That is the plan. At seven months, you cave and let him view 15 minutes of a documentary about Mozart.

Second kid: She ends up watching tv at 4 months. Because her brother is watching something educational that has Mozart in the background.

Third kid: She watches her older brother play Angry Birds. She is somewhere between 14 days and five months. You have no idea.


First kid: He wears shoes and socks everywhere he goes. This is to justify the fact that he owns more shoes than both you and your spouse combined. Actually, double.

Second kid: She wears socks and shoes most of the time. She still has fewer than him. She will get some sort of complex from this. It’s the Greek tragedy of the footwear world. It is her fate.

Third kid: She gets socks if you remember to throw some in your purse. And she doesn’t even like to wear them. Because she is a baby. And babies want freedom for all toes.


First kid: He cries and you pick him up. If you don’t, somebody else steps in and picks him up. He isn’t spoiled, he is just well-loved. That’s what you tell yourself when he screams for the nursery worker every single week. But you don’t even put him in there until he is ten months old. Forty-one weeks to be exact.

Second kid: She cries a bit more, because you can’t always get to her fast enough. She loves the nursery workers. Most likely because they aren’t leaving her to cry while they go wipe poop from someone’s butt. She has been in the nursery since she was about 4 months old. Give or take a few weeks.

Third kid: She cries a lot. And she learns to self-soothe very quickly. You are wiping two other butts now. That takes time. She has been in the nursery since she was small. Maybe 8 weeks? You don’t remember, unless you find a photo with a time stamp.


First kid: While we are talking about photos, he has a million. He has newborn, 4 month, 7 month, 1 year, 15 month, 18 month, a two-year-old session, “Big Brother Kissing Mommy’s Pregnant Belly” session, and too many more to mention. Every single day candids. And milestones are documented with photos and video and Facebook posts.

Second kid: You take some of her in the hospital, coming home, and you remember those weekly and monthly photos for awhile. She has a newborn session. Professional photos are taken again at 9 months. And then you remember to schedule a birthday session…even though you forget to send out invitations to her party and no one comes. You have plenty of candids and you use Facebook to remember important dates.

Third kid: You take photos in the hospital. You have a newborn session. You try to do a Pinterest project with weekly photos, but you often forget it is even Friday until Saturday rolls around. You do take lots of candids, because those time stamps are the only thing saving you where milestones are concerned.


First kid: You nurse a lot. All the time. Mostly covered, so as not to offend anyone. You record all growth spurts and know when they were approaching before BabyCenter even sends out the notice. You have your water and protein ready.

Second kid: You nurse a lot. All the time. No longer covering, because she doesn’t like it. You record the growth spurts, but they seem to come out of nowhere.

Third kid. You nurse a lot. All the time. Never covered. She wants to watch her siblings while she eats. She has growth spurts that blindside you, until you have been up 41 straight hours and she hasn’t stopped nursing. Then, you realize she is probably fill-in-the-blank months old. I guess those BabyCenter emails starting putting themselves in the spam folder.


First kid: You read while you nurse. It is a peaceful time.

Second kid: You spend your nursing sessions keeping an eye on the pooper. He always defecates on the floor when sister is mid-meal.

Third kid: You are shouting {over the baby’s head} at the brother while constantly looking for the sister. This results in approximately two dozen latch breaks during lunch.


First kid: Completely in love.

Second kid: Completely in love.

Third kid: Completely in love.


Some things are constants…



Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

One thought on “First, Second, Third.

  1. Julie says:

    Love this!!! Love reading your writings, L!


Please Share Your Thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: