Graham Has Baby Fever

May 20th. That’s when Graham decided that we needed another baby. He is convinced that I am pregnant and will not be dissuaded. The fact that I am losing weight every week? Doesn’t bother him. The fact that I am losing inches? Minor detail. The fact that pregnancy tests have a solitary line? Not his problem.


“Mama, when are you gettin us anovver baby? I don’t know where you get dem, but we need anovver one! Dey are so cute when dey can pway wif me!”

“Mama, what are we naming da new baby?”
“Sweetie, what baby?”
“Da next baby. Can I help name it?”
“I’m not having another baby.”
“Well, it’s time for anovver baby. Right? Call Daddy and tell him it’s time for anovver baby. I knowed we are getting one, so let’s do it. And I will name it. Maybe car. Cuz it will be a fast baby.”


“How is da littlest baby today?”
“Bess, Graham wants to know how you are today.”
“No, Mama! Da littlest baby in yours belly!”
“Sweetie, there is no baby in my belly.”
“Well, you are starting to get kinda fatter. So I fink dere is one in dere.”


“Mama, WildStyle learns dat we should be ourselves. Unwess yours name is Lucy. We can’t name da new baby dat. I do not like dat name at all!”


“Da new baby will live in mine woom. We needs to get a cwib from Rhea Lana’s for him.”


“Mama, when is da baby boy getting here?”
“Sweetie, whose baby boy?”
“Our baby boy! I told you he is in your belly gwowing and he will be here soon! He will be fast like a car! Hi, Baby Bwother!”


He talks to my triple c-sectioned flab of belly skin. He tells strangers at the store that I am pregnant. He told me all he wants for his birthday is a baby. I asked him if he wanted a baby because Bess was getting big and was becoming a big girl. “No, Mama, I just wants a baby cuz I knows we are getting one.”


Just call me the Dream Crusher.

graham and girls

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3 thoughts on “Graham Has Baby Fever

  1. […] family members and characters from movies and shows, and Michael da Bird. {And don’t forget Baby Brovver. Who the Council petitions for on a daily basis.} I am enjoying every moment they are with us. […]


  2. […] there is a baby growing in my belly. “No, sweetie, Mommy is not having another baby.” Graham is pretty obsessed with babies. “Mama, I know dese fings. Dere is a baby gwowing in yours belly. I don’t know if […]


  3. […] aren’t planning anything. We gave away our baby items to make room for homeschool containers. When Graham asks when he is getting another baby, I just answer that we don’t know if we’ll have anymore […]


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