How Many Days?

“Mama, you knows what will makes you feel weally better today? Knowing when it’s CHWISTMAS! Cuz I bet Daddy’s gonna get you somefing weally cool. And Jesus stuff. Cuz you love all da Jesus stuff. Cans we make a calendar about Chwistmas and Fanksgiving?”

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Today has been a tough day. And even though I try to keep my emotions in check and keep a game face on, Graham can tell when I am flustered. He can also tell when I am fake smiling. Which has made some encounters awkward. More than once, he has announced to someone that I am not really smiling at them but using my ‘other’ smile.

We are trying to get a wheelchair for Adelaide, which requires more paperwork than a NASA mission. And Adelaide has staph. Again. This is actually our 4th time. Praying it clears up quickly. If it doesn’t, we go to the doctor on Monday to check for MRSA. Because someone we know has it and Adelaide was around that person a few times. Speaking of medical stuff, Bess has been without her new prescription for three days. The pharmacy says they don’t have it and are not sure how to get it. And our insurance doesn’t cover it. Not a serious deal yet, but we are supposed to be trialing it for 12 weeks. So, the longer she goes without it, the longer we are postponing finding out what is wrong with her. We are trying to rule out eosinophilic esophagitis {eoe} and she needs the rx to do it. Apparently, it is unicorn tears. Bottled by dwarves. And Graham has been full of questions today. Really tough ones.

“Mama, will Papa Bob be out of da hospital for Fanksgiving and Chwistmas?”
“Mama, do mine cousins know dey are adopted or do I need to tell dem dey are a darker bwown cuz people ares all diff’went shades of bwown?”
“Mama, Papa Stephen’s not coming for Fanskgiving and Chwistmas, wight? He’s still gotta stay away fo-ever, wight?”
“Mama, will Adelaide open pwesents dis year or just eat all da paper like last time and dwool all over mine toys?”
“Mama, can I ask Jesus to make Adelaide walk for her Chwistmas pwesent but still pway for toys for mine own pwesents?”
“Mama, can I have some hot chocolate?”

Well, the last one wasn’t a tough question. And the answer was ‘yes’ and it kept him quiet for about 30 seconds. Sweet boy. But I was still thinking about the other ones, in addition to everything else going on today.

His idea about counting down to Christmas was fabulous. Because Christmas calms me. I know that is a foreign concept to most of the American public, but I look forward all year to our little low-key traditions. Truth in the Tinsel crafts, wrapping up some goodies for my kiddos, getting small love-nothings for our families, baking with Mr. Graham, putting up a few decorations, and getting out all my nativities {aka my Jesus stuff}.

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Graham picked out all the paper and we got to work making November and December calendars. I did veto ribbon with crabs on it, but he chose everything else. We added holidays, birthdays and party days, therapy, and even our dentist appointment. Graham loves his dental hygienist. And he also loves pretending to brush the giant teeth with the giant toothbrush. He is looking forward to chocolate chip mint tooth polish, so I hope they have some. I mentioned that they change their flavors a lot and we need to be ready with some back-ups. “Mama, I am hers fav-wite. She will have mine fav-wite chocolate tooth mint stuff. I just knows it. Dat’s how life works.” Maybe that’s how your life works, but I am feeling less than optimistic about it working out. Of course, as I mentioned, I am having a rough day. I am not going to taint his expectations. It’s a mom’s dream to have her child excited about a tooth cleaning.

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Graham also wrote some letters. Naturally, I asked, “What does it say?” His response was typical Graham: “I don’t know! Yous are da one who weads all the time. I am just a kid. If you can’t tell me, den we will never know! Will we never know? I am going to cwy now.” So I sounded it all out for him. He was fine with the fact that it was all nonsense. And then we moved on to coloring.

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The thing about bad days, is that they are just as fleeting as Graham not being able to read. I am going to blink, and he will be reading and writing and making his own calendars. And today will be gone very soon. Next year, I won’t remember several messages and emails about a wheelchair. And I won’t remember all the phone calls and time spent at the pharmacy. I won’t remember all the times I applied staph meds. And I won’t even remember all of Graham’s tough questions. But I will remember his excitement at making a calendar. And I will remember his determination to write those letters. Next year, I will remember today…all while I watch him make a new calendar with a lot less help from me and a much bigger skill set of his own. Because my little guy who can’t read, but reads me like an open book, is growing so much every day. And I am so excited to spend another Christmas season with him by my side. Crafting and baking and shopping and wrapping and reading and snuggling. His last Christmas as a preschooler.

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2 thoughts on “How Many Days?

  1. Julie says:

    The calendar is perfect! Nice job mama!

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