PIZZA {made by my co-laborer}

Dave cooks a lot. People respond to that in different ways. One time, this woman said to me, “Don’t you feel like less of a woman when you don’t do all the cooking and let your husband help?” Um. No. I looked around to make sure I hadn’t time traveled, then answered, “Well, it sure frees up time for other stuff that makes me feel like more of a woman than my poor skills in the kitchen.” Then, I winked and walked off. She looked mortified. She was only in her 30s. I am sure she is a good cook, but probably a poor wife if she really thinks that she needs to be doing all the cooking to be a woman. Sidenote: I hate when people use the word ‘help’ when they talk about their husbands. Your children help. A babysitter helps. You husband is a co-laborer. I am not dogmatic about it. I am not going to outlaw the word ‘help’ or start a Christian ministry trying to lessen its frequency. The word isn’t the problem. The issue at hand: the attitude behind it. Her husband wasn’t a co-laborer in that kitchen. He was the five-year-old washing potatoes. Anyway, I love that Dave cooks. I am not ashamed of it, because we are co-laborers in this crazy thing called life. Honestly, I am not the best cook. But unlike what Pinterest would have you believe, our children don’t expect to eat meals that could be served at Buckingham Palace. They need nutritious food that meets their dietary requirements, can be purchased within our budgets, and tastes yummy. End of story…for the Ballews, at least. Not knocking people who love to cook or make their living cooking. That is awesome. The world needs those people. We, the Ballews, are just not those people. And not everyone is supposed to be those people. And moms {and dads} shouldn’t feel guilty for not being Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart of Ree Drummond or fill-in-the-blank with anyone from the Food Network. I don’t feel guilty that Dave cooks. And I sure don’t feel guilty that he cleans bathroom floors and changes diapers and grocery shops and feeds our children and chooses paint colors. And I take out the trash and put holes in the walls and move furniture and trim branches from trees and use a tile saw. It works for us. And like I said to the obnoxious woman in the grocery store who heard my 4-year-old son ask if he could make dinner with his daddy, it sure frees up time for other things when you work as a team. But this isn’t the kind of blog that talks about those things…

Check out the pizza Dave made for me last night. He and Graham cooked, while I worked out and nursed Bess. It’s a lovely life at our little house in the city. I love my co-laborer. And my helpmate. Dairy-free, gluten-free, but oh-so-yummee pizza. And all the ingredients are from Aldi. Where we both shop. And we both put away the groceries. And we both do the dishes. {she beats a dead horse…}

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6 thoughts on “PIZZA {made by my co-laborer}

  1. CFeather says:

    Fred has done just about all the cooking for over a decade; and has cooked a lot over the course of our marriage. Why? He loves it, he does it well, and I love it. He likes to grocery shop; he is also fantastic at design and color choices, fine cabinetry and rough carpentry. He is the head of our household, but we are also co-laborers. We love it this way. I actually felt like less of a woman before we were saved and I did everything, including work at a large law office in downtown Denver. Not trying to be judgmental about others’ lives, but I don’t expect others to have the same balance in their marriages as we do in ours. The most important thing is that we both love Jesus and want Him to be the focus of our lives, not what our role is in our marriage.

    • Lyndse says:

      Hi Cindy!
      Thanks for the comments. Yes, I think the most important part of any marriage relationship is that both people love Christ and serve Him. I was just trying to point out that the common misconceptions about marriage roles are not relegated to older generations. When complete strangers of the same age approach you in public and try to chastise you in front of your children, it shows a real problem. I am not trying to impose our way of life on others, just showing that it works well for us. I hope I made that clear by repeating that the Ballews have a way of doing things that we see as beneficial for our marriage and our children. I am obviously no expert, but I tried the ‘do everything’ model and realized early on that it was not going to work for us. But I totally see how my snarkiness was perceived as being judgmental. Have a blessed day and thanks for stopping by! Lyndse

  2. i love my husband, co-laborer, as well. And I love that we get to “work together” in our home. It makes home, home. :)

  3. […] this isn’t a food blog. So, don’t expect fancy photos or anything […]

  4. […] dinner every night in this tough season, because he loves me. Not because he loves food. He is an amazing partner and shows his adoration through […]

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