“I hate Daddy’s fwiends! I hate dem!”
“Hate is a strong word. What’s wrong?”
“Daddy’s fwiend made him cookies, but dems all weird! Why did she put waisins and nuts in a cookie? I hate her!”
“Graham, it was nice of Daddy to share his birthday cookies with you. You don’t need to eat them. People make lots of different cookies. And it was very nice of Daddy’s friends to make him yummy cookies for his birthday.”
“Well, I hate you, too! Yous always twying to make me hate you. And I hate dis house and da girls and ev’wy VeggiesTales person! Now I’m cwying and I can’t stop! Make it stop! I HATE CWYING!”
A few minutes later, I was cleaning up diarrhea.
And then again, ten short minutes later.
Raising a strong-willed kid is hard work. But taking care of a sick strong-willed kid takes extra patience. And an uncanny ability to keep a straight face when you are being blamed for someone else’s gastrointestinal issues. And a hazmat suit. I really think you should invest in one of those.