Last month, I decided to buy a lot of five shirts from a former student. She wanted $10. I figured if even one of them worked, it would be worth it. I asked if they were long. She said two of them were long and three were shorter, but could be layered with a tank.
One of them is long. Four of them are crop tops. This is when I realized the fashion definitions of a single 20-year-old and a married 32-year-old mother of three small children are worlds apart.
I didn’t feel like donating them to the Salvation Army, so I started wearing them to bed. The laughs I get from Dave are worth the measly $2 each I handed off in the parking lot. He chuckles every time. Because they also have these weird arms that are like wings and are off the shoulder.
In no scenario am I cool enough to pull these off, but I keep wearing them. My triple c-sectioned belly and stretchmark-laden muffin top are going to be the pinnacle of fashion. You just wait and see…