Mr. Grouper Is Bruce Wayne

“Adelaide, you are going to school soon.”

“Buh-le Uppies! Addie Buh-le Uppies!”

Yes, those adorable singing mer-children are at school. And Mr. Grouper is their teacher. Do you think school will be like Bubble Guppies? A magical place where learning is always easy and fun and field trips are a daily occurrence?

Two weeks ago, I was talking to you about school. You will be attending part-time preschool next year at our local special needs center. Receiving therapy services we cannot get through insurance. And you were clapping and shouting about Bubble Guppies.

Adelaide, I know a secret. It’s really the only explanation. No school district can afford to send a class to the planetarium, a party in a skyscraper, the farm, a museum, and a marching band competition. All in one week. Maybe one of these things could be acquired from a grant or underwritten by a wealthy benefactor. But the last minute flight on an actual airplane!?!?

Mr. Grouper is Bruce Wayne. He is a billionaire. Pretending to be a teacher. I can’t see another valid conclusion. Other than drugs. But I doubt Mr. Grouper is a pusher. And he certainly doesn’t have time to make the narcotics. I hear that preschool teachers go to bed at 8pm from the sheer exhaustion of it all. So drugs are out.

You will just need to settle for smart boards and brand-new playground and a super clean facility. You will not go camping in the woods when you learn about a bear. You will not visit a clothing factory in Indonesia when you practice putting on socks. You will not load up the bus and head to the lake when you learn to sign boat. And you certainly will not hop on a jetplane and attend the 2016 World Cup in Japan after you practice kicking a soccer ball in physical therapy.

Unless Mr. Grouper is your teacher. With his billions of dollars and freedom to remove children from a school building with zero preparation and not a signed permission slip in sight. I guess Bruce Wayne gets whatever he wants, since he’s footing the bill. Finning the bill?

He’s the teacher you deserve, but not the one you need right now.


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One thought on “Mr. Grouper Is Bruce Wayne

  1. […] are pretty low. I know yours are extremely high. Please walk in grace. I don’t expect you to be Mr. Grouper. Actually, you are already better than him. He doesn’t even make lesson plans. Just waits for […]


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