Pottytraining Gives Me Hives

“Me tinky!” Bess brought me a cover adorned with birdhouses, signed the word diaper, and shouted her predicament. She was stinky. At 20 months, she shows many signs of pottytraining readiness. But, here’s the rub…so did Graham. And I felt completely bamboozled by a child who wanted to start using the potty one day before he turned two. And proceeded to take more than three years to actually train. He has more pottytraining days under his belt than diaper days. He regressed twice after new sisters. I pottytrained through two pregnancies. So many false hopes dashed by defiant incident upon incident. We tried all the tricks. Read all the articles. He was just unwilling to be trained. And that’s just not something I can do again. I may buy some cloth trainers in July and let Bess get a feel for things. But I cannot repeat Graham’s pottytraining journey. Those were some dark days. Bess is just as strong-willed, but has the benefit of cloth and feeling every time she is wet. So my optimistic side says GO FOR IT! But my past experience says STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM THAT POTTY SEAT! I would rather change cloth diapers for another two years and actually train in a few weeks, than start now and train until I am celebrating my 35th birthday. Someone once teased that I have ptsd, pottytraining stress disorder, but that’s not even a joke I can entertain with two Iraqi and Afghanistan veterans for a brother and sis. But I do have a visceral reaction to training Bess. I just can’t even think about it right now. I am genuinely happy for people who pottytrain quickly and magically, but it’s not a reality in our home. Our out-of-the-box children don’t follow toilet norms. And my carpet can’t take too many more “I will pee and poop right here and you can’t stop me” episodes.

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