1. Wait to renew your vehicle tags until the last business day of the month. Procrastination? No. Adventure!
2. Go when it’s raining and you’re under thunderstorm and flood warnings. Get those license plates really clean with help from Mother Nature. Saving money on your water bill. You’re so frugal.
3. Park in the overflow lot, which is literally overflowing with rain water. You still don’t have your handicap placard, but at least you get some extra steps in. 10,000 a day!
4. Unload the wheelchair. You don’t have a ramp, so just lift that 55 lb sucker with your brute strength and lower it to the ground.
5. Strap your youngest toddler into a carrier. Choose your comfiest carry, because you are going to be here until the puddles dry up. Next week.
6. Load your older toddler into her wheelchair. Start the trek to the front door. This building isn’t accessible. Fun!
7. Don’t forget to remind the five-year-old that we don’t need to say out loud that people smell bad, are tall, have weird clothes, or have moles on their faces. All his words. Not mine. His superpower is observing everything and reporting with no filter. Lovely.
8. Open the door and push the wheelchair in. Twenty-seven people, and not one person helps…