Please Forgive Me, Bess

I made a promise to myself almost two years ago that I wouldn’t check my phone when I was with people. So I didn’t check social media or text messages and it worked really well.

I don’t judge people who are on their phones when they’re with me…but I do think they miss out. I keep the deep stuff to myself if you are on your phone. And I know you aren’t getting real with me, because you seem distracted. Again, not a huge deal. It just changes our interactions.

And that’s why I need to start staying off my phone during the day. Because I have this ground rule I use with grownups. And I love it. But three of the most important people in my life aren’t getting that same courtesy. I am sitting next to them with my phone out. Reading an article about how to be a more invested mom. Yes, I see the irony.

So, for the most part, I won’t be online until after they are in bed, and only if Dave is working on something. There are always exceptions. And I will still be hopping on to post milestones and quotes…I need social media to help me remember things until I can record them. But this is what I need to do.

It’s not easy admitting I give more honor and respect to people I barely know than I do to my precious trio. Graham asked me today how my work was going. “What work?” “Your phone work. I know it’s uh-portant cuz you didn’t see Bess looking at your face talking to you.”

And that was the horribly defining moment. The moment I realized I had taken checking in on my friends to a place I refuse to go. My kids deserve more from me. I missed the deep stuff with Bess. And that can’t happen again.

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