“Mama, I love you for lotsa weasons. One is dat you decowate da living woom so pwetty all da time wif pitchers of us, cuz you loves us so much. Anovver one is how you let me eat Gweek yogurt whenever I wants it. And da last is mine bed. You let me use mine Chwismas penguin sheets all da time, not just at Chwismas. You knows I love dem wif mine animal bwanket. You are such a gweat mom for letting me have dem all da time. Cuz you care more bout me feeling special, cuz I’m yours favewit boy.”
Excuse me while I sob in the corner.