My Weekend: Confirming I Am 32 Years Old

I did several fist pumps when I found my Olay for Sensitive Skin bar soap half price. I’ve never seen Jersey Shore, because I’m too pale and don’t use hairspray, but I bet they would’ve been proud of my moves.

I talked with not one, but two people, about how I switched our family from Charmin to Cottonelle. Those ripples made Graham more independent, and saved his Ironman boxer briefs from an incinerator.

I squealed when I saw my favorite cotton panties marked down at Big Lots. My mom dug through four displays to find two packs. I bought her a Sonic drink.

I didn’t watch the Emmys. But I can tell you how Jake defeated Lord Fathom and the Strake by using the green emerald and believing in himself. Thanks for that pep talk, Captain Colossus…maybe you should start giving Red Carpet advice. Because I did see Heidi Klum’s yellow disaster.

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I had a hot date with Inspector Lewis, Detective Sergeant Hathaway, and the clean laundry pile that outgrew Laundry Chair. Complete with, you guessed it, an unconscionable number of underwear.

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One thought on “My Weekend: Confirming I Am 32 Years Old

  1. […] been buying our toilet paper for almost a decade. We don’t care about brand, really. We switched from Charmin to Cottonelle awhile back, but that doesn’t matter. Last week, he walks in the door with Cottonelle. But it […]

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