Stuff Allergy Moms Say

*What’s in this?

*Who just gave her food? Do you know that lady? I DON’T!

*Where’s the vegan margarine?

*Why do they add random wheat to everything?

*Where’d you get that? Tell Mommy where you found that!

*She’s been screaming for 12 hours. Who fed her?

*No, thank you, I’m still breastfeeding.

*What’s in your mouth?

*She’s not anaphylactic, it’s a gastro thing. Yes, that’s still dangerous.

*Is that safe?

*No, we aren’t anti-sweets. She just can’t eat it.

*Can I see that label?

*Why did they add whey to this?

*Just a minute. I need to check your trash for the wrapper.

*No, she doesn’t starve. She has lots of options.

*She can eat that. Yes, I’m sure. Yes, I’m 100% positive. Wait. Let me double check…you’ve got me nervous.

*We don’t hate ice cream. She can’t eat it.

*I’ll eat later. I hate eating unsafe foods in front of her.

*Don’t pick that up! Don’t you dare put that in your mouth! Somebody stop her!

*Be sure to pick up your crumbs.

*Don’t eat your sister’s bread. It’s $4 a loaf!

*Why is there random peach juice added to this?

*No, we don’t hate chocolate. She’s allergic.

*That’s not a safe food!

*We have blood in her diaper. Who fed her what?

*I know it’s dairy-free, gluten-free cocoa, but she’s still allergic to cocoa.

*PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW!

*Excuse me, waitress, what do you have that’s gluten-free vegan? Then we need to add some dairy-free meat to it.

*How did she react to this? It’s all safe! Those blasted ‘other natural flavors’…I’ll kill you!

*Be sure to pack her food for dinner at your brother’s.

*Life was easier when she was exclusively breastfed and I was just monitoring my own diet.

*I know it should be safe, but she’s somehow allergic to that. I don’t even know how.

*She’s been screaming for 3 days. We need to double check all the labels at all the houses.

*The holidays are here. She needs a shirt that says “Please Do Not Feed Me”…I’ll just smile and nod at every zoo joke.

*Her safe snacks were on clearance. I bought all of them.

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