As a virgin-engaged-to-be-married, I went overboard on the lingerie. We were engaged for 22 months, thanks to my degree requiring an extra semester…plus some, so I had too much time to buy honeymoon goodies. I also worked in retail, so all my lingerie purchases were ridiculously inexpensive. I couldn’t say no to a beautiful gown that was marked down 75% off to $10 and then thrown into a $1.99 clearance bin. My employee discount made it less than what I paid for a Diet Coke. My married friends all said, “Stop buying lingerie! You keep it on for five minutes and then it hits the floor.” But I didn’t care. I was thrilled to keep throwing things into my hope chest. Right on top of all the glass pieces I inherited from my still-living granny. She wanted me to enjoy it. She said she didn’t want to wait until she was dead for me to get the glassware I always saw in her basement as a kid. When she visited this last time, my babies everywhere, we ate off those plates and sipped our drinks from those glasses. How fun to have photos of us actually using the glass pieces I will pass down to my daughters, her great-granddaughters. When she visits again, we’ll sip more and chat more. Because there’s no point in having pretty things to keep them locked away and unused. The lingerie piled and piled, until it was time to be married. I packed every single piece into my luggage. Dave had a surprise month-long honeymoon planned. We stayed in several hotels, including The Brown Palace, but most of our stay took place at an old stage coach depot turned vacation home in Golden, Colorado. It was fabulous. We bought and cooked our own food, did laundry, traveled up into the foothills, through Rocky Mountain National, and down to the Springs. And I wore every single piece of lingerie. Some got the five minute treatment. Some I wore all night. I did dishes in my fanciest stuff and read books in my softest stuff. And here’s the confession: some of it was way too big. I bought lingerie in 4 different sizes. I knew my body would change with kids. I’m blessed with normal genes, which means I can’t be a supermodel or wear the clothes I wore in High School. My body has carried 5 children, some longer than others, and it’s changed. My hips are wider, thighs are thicker, and I never seem to lose my muffin top. I have scars and fluff and stretch marks. And it’s okay. I knew it would happen. It’s a small price to pay for Graham, Adelaide, Elizabeth, Laurence, and Flannery. My weight has fluctuated almost 100 pounds since Dave and I met. But I’ve always had lingerie from our honeymoon that fits. I’ve never gone to my drawer and said, “I’m too big for all of this.” There is always something to wear. And I chuckle that all these years later, I was still right to buy all the lingerie I loved. I didn’t keep all of it, because I only kept my absolute favorites. But the pieces I kept are so me, I can’t imagine ever giving them up. And they are small, medium, large, and x-large. Because I’m a mom who has been many weights. None of them perfect. But all of them clothed in honeymoon lingerie for my groom.
Mom Confession | Lingerie