It has been quite some months since the last meeting of the Imaginary Friend Council. Several members were inducted in late 2015 and early 2016, but few issues were brought to the table.
Until this week.
The IFC called an emergency meeting today on Graham’s bed. As he stood atop his headboard, surveying the angry mob, the mother peeked through a crack in the door. The entire Council is outraged over the Ballews limited Internet usage.
Mario, Luigi, and Red Bird blame the mother. She has limited streaming video to only Standard Definition shows. High Definition (HD) programming is only allowed during special Family Nights.
The IFC wants to watch more YouTube tutorials about passing Mario 2 levels. They have pleaded, through Graham, for unlimited access. Their petition called for “as many hours and days dat we want to watch ovver people play and talk about Mario 2” and an addendum was added about Strawberry Shortcake movies, which the mother says are non-negotiable. One viewing uses the allotted streaming Internet for the entire day. She is also disturbed by the Pie Man and his dream plot. She claims it’s unsettling.
The heads of the Ballew household have tried to explain to Graham and the IFC about the Internet caps, but there is still daily unrest. Just today, the mother overheard Graham say he was going to “get a wocketship to da Moon, cuz dat’s just da way life works to get more YouTube shows” and then he pumped his fist in the air as the IFC chanted “No More DVDs! We want more Mario 2 levels!”
It appears that neither side will budge, with the mother saying “I’m not paying an extra $10 a month to watch someone else play Mario!” Then she drank some Diet Coke, which seemed to calm her nerves. But the IFC has already called a meeting for mid-Thursday morning to revisit discussions about never brushing teeth again until demands are met.