“Mama, I’m so worried I’m gonna gwow up to be a hermit-man and never have fwiends and never leave my house.”
This started a 5 hour obsession with becoming a hermit. Tears, constant questions, and incessant reassurance that he would never become a hermit.
“HOW DO YOU KNOW? You can’t know! You don’t know mine future!”
“Graham, if you try to become a hermit, Daddy and I will stop you. We will get you out of your house.”
“What if you ares dead? You aren’t gonna live fowever, Mama!”
“Bess will not allow you to become a hermit.”
“What if all mine family is dead? What if all mine fwiends are dead? What if I CAN ONWY BECOME A HERMIT?”
“Graham, that is not going to happen.”
“IT MIGHT! You don’t know mine future!”
And it went on for hours. And I gave him rational answers. I gave him Scripture. I asked for help from God to deal with the barrage of hermit-man-related questions.
And as we were praying at bedtime for God to protect Graham from a life as a hermit, he looked at me and said, “It could happen. Dey are weal. People choose to be all alone and have no fwiends and become hermit-people. What den?” And I said, “Then it happens. And you figure out how to not be one. You pray, ask your family and friends for help, and you move through it.”
And he was content with that answer.
We can’t get those minutes back. The Hermit-Man tears can’t be uncried.
And then it hit me in the face.
I am Graham and the Hermit-Man.
My ‘what ifs’ aren’t as far-fetched, but I’m a 6-year-old crying in God’s lap. “What if we get pregnant again and we lose that baby, too? It happens. It happens to lots of people!” And God says, “Then it happens. And we figure it out. You talk to me…I’m always here…and you ask your family and friends for help. And you move through it.”