Tag Archives: Music

Albums That Feel Like First Kisses

“Try to describe to me how music makes you feel.” A question from my kindergarten teacher. “I love music a lot. I think kissing will make me feel the way I feel when I hear my favorite music.” She chuckled. I didn’t understand her laugh. I was being so serious. Music caught my breath in my chest. I thought about every Disney kiss I had ever watched on VHS. I thought about Almonzo Wilder kissing Laura Ingalls in my paperback book from the Bookmobile. Why was this comical to her?

I only kissed two guys before Dave. I wanted to kiss a few dozen more from middle school to college, but I was never brave enough to initiate a kiss. The guys I liked never chose me for that moment you read in hundreds of books. When he takes your hands, your eyes lock, you look away slightly embarrassed, and your lips touch that very first time. And it feels like music.

When Dave and I were friends, he mentioned that he wouldn’t kiss again unless he knew he loved her and wanted to kiss only her for the rest of his life. Several months later, I wasn’t expecting to be kissed. I was surprised and elated when he asked if he could kiss me. My hands in his hands. We looked into one another’s eyes. Then I looked down, remembering his words. This was more than a first kiss. This was a declaration. Our lips met and it was the most incredible feeling. I remembered thinking, “This is my last first kiss.” And that feeling in my chest was the same feeling I had the first time I heard U2’s Heartland.

Most people have songs that move them. I have those in spades. But I also have albums. Entire albums that give me that feeling so far into my chest, I think it must burn me up completely.

I doubt mine do the same for others. We are all so different. But these albums are mine, from start to finish. And that feeling of kissing your spouse for the first time floods me.

That first kiss, and all the dating and engagement kisses that follow, are nothing like married kisses. Two categories that rarely overlap. Those first kisses leave you wanting what you don’t even know. When evenings end with kissing and can’t go any further. For me, music is like those kisses, because I can’t ever get enough. I want to feel more from that song. Dance more. Cry more.

But married kisses almost always lead to that act that transcends the music. Where the lyrics can’t fulfill, those married nights together are everything you imagined as a college girl holding his hand at an amusement park.

Last year, Dave bought Coldplay’s Ghost Stories for me. I listened to it on repeat all the way to Kansas City and back. I was on 71 thinking about our first kiss. He had that album ready for me, along with coffee, and a goodbye kiss. I was taking the girls to the hospital and he had a meeting he couldn’t miss. His goodbye kiss wasn’t his normal goodbye kiss. It said, “Please be careful. I love you. I want to be leaving with you right now. Please, please, please be careful.” And that album was in my chest for 7 hours. It became one of mine.


Here are a few of my albums. They are part of the soundtrack for my life. I equate them with heartburn and happy/sad/mad tears and being incandescently in love, to steal Lizzie’s words. I want to dance and laugh and kiss my husband and travel all over the world and spoon on our couch while children sleep and travel back to 2003 for our first kiss. And sing. Always singing.








Photo credit: amazon & wikipedia

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When I Sing To My Daughter

Adelaide doesn’t make eye contact. Unless you are singing to her or reciting a nursery rhyme. Our neurologist says it can be typical for children like her. Adelaide has several brain abnormalities, including polymicrogyria, and is non-verbal. When I want to connect with my daughter, I find myself singing her favorite songs over and over again, just for that sacred time when I know in my heart of hearts that she actually sees me. When I sing to Adelaide, she giggles. She grabs my face. She tries to sing with me. I cherish those moments between us, because the rest of our interactions are so atypical for a mom and daughter. The eye contact during music time stirs something in me. Adelaide also loves to dance. She wriggles on her back, kicks her legs, and thrashes her head from side to side. When a favorite song comes on at home or in the car, she starts clapping. Sometimes, she will even try to sing some of the words. They sound like slurred vowel sounds as she experiments with the lyrics…

Finish reading on the Firefly Friends blog.

When I Sing to My Daughter

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Five Minute Friday {true}

I was engaged before Dave. His name was Juan Carlos Bautista. It was kindergarten. It lasted one whole week. I called it off because he and I had very different interests. And I was in love with someone else.


“Juan Carlos, I don’t think I can marry you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I love Larry Mullen, Jr. from U2. I have loved him my whole life.”

“What is that? I never heard of that.”

“If you don’t know who U2 is, then we definitely can’t get married. I am sorry.”


And I unintentionally made a five-year-old boy sob on a playground in Denver.

True story.


Fifteen years later, I ended up meeting a different drummer. He would play airdrums and we would sing Where the Streets Have No Name as we blasted The Joshua Tree and traveled on I-44 the summer before we started dating. The next year, we were engaged. And then he went from fiance to husband on a gorgeous summer day in 2006. And now we have three children. And our 10 year history is riddled with U2 memories. And there will be so many more in our future. Sometimes, I just watch him playing the airdrums in our minivan full of carseats and it takes my breath away thinking how blessed I am to be Mrs. Drummer. And then I breathe deeply and belt out a chorus with my love and our adorable backseat backup singers.



Time’s Up…

Five Minute Friday

Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Be generous and leave an encouraging comment for the person who linked up before you. That’s the best part about this community.

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Mama Hearts Music {Rend Collective Experiment}

“Saving” this song here on the blog. Why? Because every time I want to hear it, I end up Googling: hipster Christians dancing around a fire my soul…

So, here is Rend Collective Experiment’s “Come On (My Soul).”

You’re Welcome.

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Some music videos & verses & words {2013}

Expectations. Consistency. Comparison. Creativity. Inventiveness.

These have been my focus words for the past few years. It is not like they magically end {or start} as soon as I flip the calendar page. (We don’t even have a family calendar.) But I do see them as vital during certain seasons. They drift together, but sometimes one will take the lead for awhile.

This year, I know that God has given me the last two in that beautiful list as encouragement. They are full of newness. Promise. Creativity & Inventiveness. They seem like synonyms, but I can see how God is going to use in them in different arenas of my life.

This past year was tough. And amazing. And brilliant. And stretching. This new year, I am praying that God teaches me to have joy through all necessary trials. Real joy in all He blesses me with and teaches me through. He is guiding me.

In the past, I have allowed God to do heart surgery in some serious areas. I didn’t even realize He was preparing me for things until they were right above me. Saying they would crush me. I knew they couldn’t conquer, because God’s Word says they can’t. I am still standing on truths about His Expectations trumping mine, as He places new Expectations in my heart everyday. That was not just a lesson from 2011. I know that He is teaching me to be more Consistent in everything I do. I am going to be a homeschooling mom this year. Like officially. {heart pounding} Comparison didn’t end in 2012. It is a part of my personality that I place on an altar. Every single day. I have hope that it will not always affect me…right now, it is in the forefront of my mind. And speech. And attitude. But Creativity and Inventiveness? Well, they seem to be less about heart surgery and more about JOY. About trusting God to give me ideas. Ways to navigate our family through these growing times. Times to create with my own hands. To string together words into semi-coherent blog posts. To invent ways to do more with less. Or do less with more intentionality.

Last year, God also gave me a verse.

The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
He isn’t done using this verse. I know this verse is going to be an important part of me for a long time. Maybe until I die. Or Jesus comes back for His bride. I can just feel it.
Well, God has given me a verse for 2013. {It may extend beyond that. I just don’t know.}
“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
Exodus 14:14
Other versions say, “Just stay calm.”
It is pretty clear that God is telling me something.
I will quiet you.
I will save you.
I will fight for you.
Be calm.
Stay silent.
How do these tie into Creativity and Inventiveness? I have no idea. But I love that they are mine to cherish and recite and stand on during the fat and the lean times.
God also ministers to me through music. I spent most of 2012 bawling to this song. Tears of joy and frustration. I sing at the top of my lungs, “Where are you in my broken heart? Everything seems to fall apart. Everything feels rusted over. Tell me that you’re there.”
A few years back, God gave me this song when my sister-in-law lost her baby while I was at a conference. There was nothing I could do. The worship team played this song, and I just prayed in the Spirit for her. I grieved a niece or nephew I would never hold this side of eternity. Dave and I would lose three nieces or nephews in just a couple of years. This song reminds to me to pray for babies. The ones developing in a womb. The ones waiting for a forever family. The ones in our new hypotonia support group. This song meets me where I am and encourages me like few others do.
Lately, God has been using this song. It definitely ties into the theme of His rescuing me. A mighty warrior and a friend. Isn’t that the most amazing part? I think we often forget that God came to earth to rescue the one He loves. I have nothing to fear. I’m holding onto His promises.
I don’t know what 2013 holds, but God has given me reminders of His love. Faithfulness. Ability. Might. Desire. Protection. Mercy. Freshness.
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